Bittersweet New Beginnings
by revelsmyboy
Summary: What would have happened if someone had met with his demiseAnd for a brief moment Mark and Bridget's worlds were a little reversed at least emotionally


My attempt to write a What if...type of story...Be Kind!!! 

Tuesday 2:00 P.M.

He sat down at his mahogany desk. Rustling about his paper to show that he was too busy and over all that had to do with Bridget Jones. "I did my duty...I helped her and she will be released to follow whatever mundane pursuits she seemingly aspires to," waving his hand in the air talking to himself as if to confirm to himself that he was over her completely. But what betrayed him most of all was the aggression he took out on the drawers of his desk as he searched for the Peruvian Briefing Docket for tomorrow's meeting with the Foreign Cabinet Ministers. Finding the file he begins to search through his desk disgusted at his uncharacteristic organization, "Where is my pen?"

Opening and shutting drawers once again. He looks and finds the picture and picks it up. He pauses staring at it. The one taken of the two of them in their matching snowman jumpers. She ensconced in his arms he sniffled a bit as his heart started to ache as he held his right hand to his chest trying to ward off what felt like a heart attack.

"Breathe Darcy...Breathe...I need to get up."

Mark paces a bit and is totally agitated beyond belief and given in to the thought of banging a few more file drawers to soothe the very hostility he has welling inside of him. "No," he puts the file down and walks toward the window with his hands on his hips, "Must face fact she is out of my life and prefers that Wanker Cleaver." He looked out towards the window and stared out towards the courtyard at Inns of Court staring down taking in for a moment the hopes he had of afternoon invitations to lunch and impromptu visits to his chambers for stolen kisses and amorous interludes much like the other fiancés and wives of his partners. But what now, he has become a picture of an embittered and angry ex-lover, "No, I've given up on love, it is not for me..." he repeats this constantly trying to argue with him and present a tough front. 

He sighs again trying to center himself but the monologue comes again, "Fight for her! Bloody Hell I don't know how much more I can do that I have not already done." And he hits the hard wood of the wall so hard he grabs his hand realizing he may have bruised it just now.

Pacing a little bit with hands behind his back and rubbing the hand that he connected with the hard mahogany wall with his breathing a little easier and less labored he sat with his head in his hands and then sat back in his chair, he sighed, "Why didn't I run after her?" He ran his fingers through his hair and then proceeded to pick up the Peruvian Folder. "If I had she would never have been caught in Thailand under those trumped up charges." He is frustrated and at best is abruptly placing his papers around his desk.Giles walks in, "Hi ole man just heard that the reprobate Cleaver will be filming at the Serpentine Gallery at 3:00 today, absolutely no class in my..." all of a sudden Mark looked back at Giles with no emotional comeback and abruptly pulled up his coat jacket and was off while Giles looked stunned at his associates abrupt departure. 

"Mark," he called out.

"Giles don't worry we will discuss the case later I have an important matter that can't wait any further." "See you at 6:00 PM my house for the follow-up briefing."

He exited chambers and headed for his car.

2:45 PM "I will kill him...no torture him." Mark was seething under the collar. He hit his wheel with the latent hostility that was bubbling to the surface. He realized as he approached the Serpentine Gallery that he needed to maintain a coolness of air and just ask him the appropriate questions and call him outside once again to settle a score. Leaving his car he calmly approached the gallery with purposeful strides.

3:00 PM – He entered cool and confident acknowledging the few people who walked in the perimeter of his sight. He heard the smugness of Cleaver and felt his fist clenching a bit and his jaw tightening. He rounded the corner and was faced with his nemesis, the one individual who always seemed to stand between him and his happiness.

At first he remained steely calm in authoritative attorney matter, "Did you see her?"

But Cleaver in his smugness eluded me then continued to taunt me in a way that his responses were escaping me and all I wanted to do is take him outside for a bollocking he would not soon forget.

"Would you step outside please? " I said but inside I was seething  
Smug and obnoxiously " I'm afraid it's not possible. " Cleaver responded.

I felt veins about to pop from my neck, " Look are you going to step outside or do I have to drag you? "

Like he didn't think I would," I think you're going to have to drag me." He snickered if only to make himself superior and make me look like a crazed man.

I grabbed for him with both hands and proceeded to drag him out as he kicked throwing his fist in the air till he pushed and we both fell out and burst from the front doors.Daniel Cleaver exclaimed while we were fighting, "You're insane!"  
I didn't care all I could think of what he was, a reprobate on society," And you're a disgrace Cleaver and you're going to pay for it! "

He pulled away running further away and I after him. He ran into a crowd and I grabbed him intent on throwing him into the fountain.

Daniel knew what was rapidly approaching, " Ow, you're pulling my hair! Fuck off, I'm not going in the sodding water!"I only responded back, " You're going in Cleaver! "

And before I knew it he was holding on for dear life, " If I'm going in, you're going in with me, you smug bastard! "

We both fell in. I was intent on drowning the bastard but at first I could not get my footing but I finally did while we stood apart. 

Daniel then said," What are you going to do now? Drown me in sixteen inches of water? "

In gentleman like matter I responded yes...and began to dunk him. I didn't care I was angry and I wanted this bastard out of my life forever.

But I couldn't kill him and I tried to reign in my anger as he explained that he indeed had not slept with Bridget but a Thai Boy. I felt my jealousy ebb away. I got out of the fountain and made my way to my car until he stated the obvious. 

"If you are so obsessed with Bridget Jones why don't you marry her?"

I paused for a moment, as I couldn't bloody believe my ears. Partly because it was my every intent for me to fall at her doorstep at that moment with wet clothes and beg her to take me back.

"Then she will definitely shag me." Those words cut me through and before I knew it my rage quickened to a point that I was back in the fountain trying to grab that siding bastard and then he was out and I was running across the park picking up speed so that I could beat him senseless.

3:30 P.M. And then within an instant it happened so fast that lights were flashing and screeching and a hand pulled me back as I witnessed the most startling sight I had ever seen. Daniel Cleaver being tossed above a car hood and ricocheting off another like rubbish in the street. When I ran out into the street another was trying to get a pulse, "He is dead." They looked at me then to him and I said, "No...not possible." I backed up a bit.

I couldn't bloody well believe those words. My heart sunk into my stomach and empty stares turned from him to me. As I backed up, "sir they say you were chasing him...you will have to step over to the side with us." All of a sudden I was being read my rights and placed under arrest and handcuffed.

Echoing in my head was, "I thought you were normal and helpful in kitchen-but you're like the rest of them." It was playing over and over in my head. She would never forgive me and I imagined I had become the lunatic she had imagined me to be.4:00 P.M. "Oh if at this moment I felt all alone I had attributed to the death of Daniel Cleaver." "I've never killed a man before...I don't think I much like the feeling." The body bag was placed in the coroner's car and we drove off. I was not feeling anything at this moment...albeit perhaps I was existing is an alternate universe or looking at things as if I was in a cell of my devise looking out at the countless faces that just stared at me as we left.

5:00 P.M. After the startling revelation of Rebecca and my profession of love for Mark, Giles approached, "Hello Bridget and Rebecca we have to go downtown there as been an incident." He tried to exclude me but I was not leaving the line of sight because Giles seemed ghostly white.

"What Giles?" He looked at Rebecca and then me. "What Giles, I need to know what has happened."

He placed his hand on my shoulder as we stared at him. "Mark has been taken into custody this afternoon after he chased down Daniel Cleaver." "It seems as Mark chased Mr. Cleaver he ran out into traffic and met with an untimely demise." He looked back to me and my joy drained from my face as quick as it had come from the relief that Rebecca was a Lesbian and Mark was not cheating on me. I was stunned at the unbelievable news. 

Giles caught his breath, "Mr. Cleaver was killed instantly."

"It was an accident I'm sure Mark called..." looking towards Rebecca, " we have to get to the police station full-stop he must be a bloody emotional mess."

"Giles take me to him..." Bridget pleaded. "Take me to Mark...I need to see Mark." They found a wrap and wrapped it around my shoulders as we headed towards the car. I realized that while I was shocked to hear of Daniel's demise my heart and mind kept finding it's thoughts on Mark and what he must be going through at this moment.

7:00 P.M. Here I was in a stark room being questioned about what led to Daniel's demise and never sure the local authorities would believe me. Actually they kept prodding me trying to produce a case against the vengeful seeking monster.

"Actually I must be some monster," Mark thought as he took in his surroundings. Shaking his head, "right...right and advocate of justice." He looked out the window of the interrogation room and definitely uptight after being photographed, booked and searched like a piece of meat.

Then it was a knock at the door, it was Giles and Rebecca, and then behind there was those beautiful expressive eyes of Bridget peeking out from behind them. She had a subtle look of concern and did not say much as we were like deer caught in the headlights. I think Rebecca and Giles realized the awkwardness of the moment and wanted to leave us for a moment.

"Mark we will be back...but someone here wants to see you." They looked at both of us and it seemed to quicken them to action with the authorities while we stood staring at each other. The guard stood outside the door and at least gave us some time as they were told Bridget was part of the legal team, thanks in part to Giles and Rebecca's quick thinking.

It was awkwardness and I could feel my heart catch in my throat and plummet to my stomach. She had a tear in her eyes like Thailand, and yet it seemed it was the same exact moment, only the tables were turned this time. We stared at one another and then as if a second chance her hand slowly made its way across the table to mine. Do I catch it or do I turn away?

I looked back up at her and she sniffled as she began to retract her hand, but I grabbed for it. I don't know what came over me and I started sobbing like a baby. She ran over around the table to me and pulled my head into her chest holding me as close as she could and rocking me back and forth for a bit.

"I didn't mean to do it...I was so mad...I know you didn't cheat...why...why did you come?" Suddenly I sounded like her and I realized I was so much like her in so many ways.

"Because," taking a handkerchief from her clutch, "because I wanted to thank you...I mean tell you that I love you always have and always will." I held her tighter, "I'm sorry I didn't trust you and now I'm a murderer."

She sat down in the chair close to me leaning in and pushing a stray curl from my eyes, "No, it was an accident and they, Rebecca and Giles, they have proof." I looked at her and realized that I saw her as my island of sanity or calm. She didn't hate me as I hated myself at this moment. She continued to blot the tears and puffiness from my eyes.

The door swung open and informed us all charges were being dropped. Enough people attested that Daniel ran out in front of the car and Mark tried to pull him back. It was unfortunate but there were no charges to hold Mark on.

I was in shock and Giles volunteered to take the meeting. Bridget took charge and advised them that she would take me home and care for me.

830 PM I think we were all uncertain of what the future held, and yet I held onto her with all my might during the ride home.

9:00 PM It was quiet in my house. I plopped on his couch and my head hung low as I really didn't know what to say in the shock I felt regarding the days events and the anger I originally set out on when I went to meet Cleaver.

Bridget went to the cabinet and poured us some wine and brought it in with some cheese and crackers. It seemed the refrigerator was sparse. Perhaps that is because I have been on an incredible fast since last she was in my life or I didn't care much.

"It is not much but you should have something to eat your tummy has been roaring the entire ride home," she tried to interject humor and I sat back shocked at the days events as she smoothed my hair and touched me as she often did after a long day at work before that fateful day when she chucked me.

I sat up for a moment but just collapsed in her arms again blubbering like a child but she didn't leave me.

"Mark, it was an accident." She was pointed in her reply an unbending attempt to calm my own self-incrimination.

"No just go home please," I, in a loss as to what to do stood up and was about to leave when she got up and grabbed me and held me close and kissed me. I couldn't fight the feeling that I really didn't want her to go.

"No Mark Darcy...I'm not going to let you do this to yourself," she acknowledged my fears but insisted I take more crackers and cheese and rest a bit.

10:00 P.M. After silence...I spoke.

"Daniel and I were mates till that day...I hate him but I didn't intend for today to turn out like it did...with him dead." She believed me I could tell in her face but I needed to believe what I was saying because I was not convinced.

"I know Mark...I feel as if I'm somewhat the cause of this as well going to Thailand and.," I was saying.

Pushing up to face me and looking straight at me, "No it is just that I've been so what is that book you love...um Martian like and closed off that pushed you away." We stood there holding hands for a bit.

"Please take some more you need to eat and it doesn't look like you have had much." I submitted to her request and did as she told me and felt she didn't want to go to far down the emotional road with me maybe my fears were warranted.

Next Day 9:00 A.M.

She had returned from the pharmacist after making an earlier call to my personal physician for some sleep aids and an anti-depressant. I did as I was told because the alternative of being without her and that would be too insufferable to me. I was tucked in and fast asleep before I realized how weary I was from yesterday's events and hours of continuous insomnia.

1 Week Later – 12:00 Noon

I have set Mark down for a nap about 30 minutes ago even through his silent protests. Have decided to take this moment to escape to Tesco's for groceries. Mark has literally not given me much time to myself even if we sit there and don't say much to each other, he seems so unsure of himself and awkward as it is I feel secure knowing that he wants me close by but we have had few words. It is, as he wants to say something but does not know how.Kind of at a lost as to what to say but had no alternative this last week to make sure he takes his medication although he complains that it affects his libido or desire for close intimacy. Thankfully I've read the label and realized that this is one of the possible side effects. He has begged to be off them and we will revisit this as soon as he stops having those momentary anxious cycles and nightmares that have caused him to stay awake for hours on end.

One more check, yes he is asleep. "Bridget Jones wonderful girlfriend and exceptional nurse."

Now I must go out and fill his bare cabinets, as I have no idea how he survives without nourishment. Then I will provide a regimen of afternoon walks and sorted activities culminating to getting him back into work. As lovely as he is to have him around I can't allow him to hide anymore. He must get back into life very soon.

1:30 P.M.

"Your Welcome-I was only the messenger." Over and over again it replayed in his head as he looked at her beyond the cage.

She came running after me and said, "Don't you love me?" Stuck momentarily as to what to say, it finally came out as I looked back at her.

"I was so enraged at both of you and hurt because I thought he had seduced you again and then my anger kept growing until I knew I would not rest until I rung his neck. 

"Then you murdered him and you meant to murder him...you animal!" I ran out of the cage back to her but she fought me, and then proceeded to slap me really hard against the face."

"Mark...Mark wake up you are dreaming." She was above me looking up at me as I lay in our, I mean, my sheets." "See that is why you are not going to stop taking that medicine for awhile in fact it is time again."

"No Bridget, I won't have anymore nightmares I promise," as he looked pleadingly to her face.

"I'm not budging on this so take it," she turned for a moment and she dispensed it but I very slyly placed it under the bed and pretended to take it when she turned her head.

"That is better...now please I have one more errand to run and I will be back," and with that it was a quick kiss and she was off.

"Bridget...please don't go." I have wanted to reach out to her more but have been unable to do so he thought but not tonight, tonight after avoiding her for so long it is going to be different, and sans I've dispensed with those horrible pills as well.

But alas, best plans were spoiled when she changed my bedding and the pills popped out. So much for the clever minded barrister and his infantile ideas. I've never seen her so angry as she dismissed herself and said she had errands and appointments to keep. None of which seemed to include me.

Next Day 4:00 PM (Mark's Room)

"Where is she?" He questioned himself as he missed her terribly and wanted her back. Maybe she decided she had enough of my nightmares and lunacy and was deciding how best to leave me. "Oh, God I'm being irrational." He dismissed it convincing himself she was just detained and tried her cell one more time. No answer. I know she said she could not spend the night last night due to unavoidable appointments and dinner with her parents, but I can't help but think she has chucked me for her good. She left after her return and was so mad. He sat on the floor after looking out the window and was pained by the turn of tragic events. Dressed in Khakis and an open white shirt and no socks was so uncommon for Mark Darcy. Two weeks of not saying much but being cared for by Bridget, "I really wonder what she is thinking." He looked out towards the rays of light figuring they might God beams; he reached out like a child to try to catch them as he so often did as a young man. Stubble, it looked like he had not been acquainted with a razor for what seemed like two weeks. He pulled his knees up and rested his head on his knees.

I know I will lure her back only a plead absolute obedience this time...

He ran to his garden and pulled in roses from the garden and searched his kitchen for a vase but only found a pitcher and placed them dead center so she would see them.

5:00 PM

"Still no sign of her, why hasn't she called me? "

6:00 PM

Bridget put the bags from the market down and tallied her list of all completed items, "it is odd I'm becoming more like him and it is really scary." "I think a long walk tonight would be good and a stop at the Electric tonight might brighten up his spirits." Then she saw the roses and was stunned.

"Bridget, I've missed you...Love Mark." She smiled and felt a little ashamed at how she became so angry with him yesterday even though he resorted to hiding his pills like a child."Mark...Mark where are you?" His coat was still on the hook and his door unlocked. I'll just take a look in his room he may still be resting; I'm so glad he returns to work next Monday.

I watched him; he was looking vulnerable at some point but also very sexy as well, but wondering if the reduction of medicine was a good idea. Sitting off in a corner at this point and drawing invisible circles on the floor with his hand resting on the knees he had pulled up close to his chest and his chin resting on it. Well at least it is a good sign that he is not rocking back and forth like someone crazed and distraught.Approaching she walked quietly towards him and he looked up. Their eyes met and she clasped his chin and side of his face in her hands, it felt odd, as she was truly unaccustomed to the beard. "You really need to shave...I know I will help and I won't nick you this time." She winked hoping for some reaction.

She came down to him and attempted to kiss the tear from his cheek. Then she ran her hand through his hair as they silently took each other in. 

"Bridget, I'm glad you are back but I have..." he reached down to pull her with some urgency in manner.Well the lines at the market were long." I was lighthearted trying to read his mood as I felt a sense of foreboding with the "but I have" remark."No I'm glad you are back here in my life...and close by..." he stuttered a bit. If anything these events have been playing hard on his mind and he does not like to be alone and have escaped the inevitable concern over his last comment. 

"Mark I don't want us to have a misunderstanding like we did... It was..." he put his finger to my mouth quieting me for a moment.

"I love you to Bridget ...always have and always will...I want to be the man in your life..." grabbing my hand and kissing it then taking me in again with his deep expression able eyes. All I could play on in the moment that this was sudden to the events that have been happening these last few weeks with Daniel's funeral and his emotional swings.

"I love you," and just a certain tenderness washed over his face," Bridget Jones will you marry me." I started to cry and I came closer as he cradled me in his arms and held me. Pulling my chin up he kisses me powerfully and to the point I was not sure where one of us left off and the other started.

"Mark I had hoped." he brushed the side of my hair and held my gaze as he held me in his lap.

"I wanted to from the night we were in the snow and you were in your tiger knickers but it was too soon, and then after the law council dinner, and our parental lunch but I didn't want to rush."

So what you are saying..."everything was hitting me all of a sudden that more tears came because I was moved by the tenderness of this moment and this had nothing to do with the emotional rollercoaster he had been on.

"So what I'm saying Bridget is that I've been head over heals in love with you from the start, from, the turkey curry buffet, but I was too foolish and proud that I fought it off with ill comments, he brushed another strand of my hair from my eyes as he took me in pensively, "please forgive me."

Rubbing at the wet part of his shirt I had realized that his white shirt was getting quite wet from my tears.

He looked a little sad, "Mark what?"

"You haven't answered by proposal," there was hopefulness in his eyes that had not been there from these last two weeks.

"Yes, yes I will marry you," I said holding him tighter as he picked me up and carried me over to his bed.

He went over to rummage through his dresser and literally tossed all his properly folded boxers out till he came to a velvet box. More evidence of his plans for the future which included me all along.

"I had this from our second date and I want you to have it." Opening the Asprey box it was exquisite, a baguette diamond in a platinum setting. Inscribed with, I Love You Just The Way You Are –Mark.

Quietness became us as we sat on the bed. "Bridget I'm not a violent man, and though contrary to popular opinion, I am capable of love even though you once said I was incapable of being affectionate."

The words bit back, "Mark I was angry and jealous...I thought I was loosing you." He looked again up at me and held me till we fell back on the bed and I began to slowly unbutton his shirt placing small kisses down his collar bone to his chest to his abdomen. He gasped a bit and then he moved skillfully taking me all in.I laid down with him at that moment comforting him from arduous week as we escaped and became enraptured with each other. Two hours later as the beams from the sun came into the room they kissed the ring on my hand and it glowed in pristine warmth. Somehow that beam of light seemed to confirm to me that better days were ahead of us. And even his medicine could not suppress the love that welled up within him during these last few fleeting hours.

He moved a bit but I nestled closer to him making sure there were no gaps nor would there ever be between us again. 


End file.
